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Read this one and this one.

A long time ago this was posted on HackNot. I thought I’d tidy it up a little and re-post it. It remains more than a little random and paternal, but I’ll update it as I go and see if the treasure to trash ratio increases.

Requirements

* Humans read requirements.
* Humans lose interest if they can’t understand a requirement.
* Humans lose interest if they don’t know why a requirement exists.
* There are no desirable requirements for this release. There are only desirable requirements for the *next* release.
* Requirement numbers should never contain the section number of the document they are in.
* A requirement only needs to require an implementation in rare circumstances when you need to require a point of concrete integration.
* Requirements should be testable. If you write a requirement that may be hard to test, write supporting notes about how you think the requirement could be tested. Testable means that a test is possible - do not restrict yourself to requirements that you can test with your available resources, but expect to justify them.
* Track requirements met during development by mapping requirement coverage to test results
* Because a customer asks for a feature to be implemented, that alone doesn’t make it a good feature
A man walks into a hospital having already diagnosed himself with prostate cancer. He demands that a surgeon operate immediately to remove the cancer. The surgeon operates. The man is caused inconvenience, discomfort and pain for the rest of his life from side-effects of the operation. The surgeon could have refused to operate, or consulted more, because most prostate cancer sufferers die with, and not because of, their prostate cancer. The surgeon gave the man what he asked for and not what he needed.
* A customer with multiple needs, may need more that one solution
Q: What can you brush your teeth with, sit on, and telephone people with?
A: A toothbrush, a chair and a telephone.

Performance

* Specify performance early.
* Always specify time and space performance.
* Optimize late.

Documentation

* Styles in Microsoft Word are your friend. If you want a Word processor, use Word. If you want a typewriter, use Notepad.

Reuse

* Beware the “framework.”
* Spurn the “reusable component.”
* It’s hard to specify a reusable complonent or framework because what users *might require* is always infinitely larger than what they’ll need for sure.
* “You ain’t gonna need it.”
* Your customer wants to pay for a solution for their problem, not everyone else’s.
* Designing for reuse typically introduces complexity. Complexity invites bugs and discourages reuse.
* Designing for reuse typically involves requirements compromise and schedule overhead.

* “Found object” reuse can be fostered with open access to source repositories, good design and documentation.

Technologies

* XML: it’s just a verbose way of representing structured data.
* SIP: it’s just a signalling protocol.

Projects

* Try not to build release 2 before release 1 has any customers
* When someone says “I know this is a death march, but you will be rewarded well regardless of whether you succeed or fail,” run (away) like the wind.

Peopleware

* Habitable development environments clearly define the level of cleanliness required.
* Habitable development environments have management who solicit, and listen to, criticism.
* Give directions in positive terms.
* Avoid saying what shouldn’t be done.
* Toddlers and software engineers want to please you, and do the right thing.
* Toddlers and software engineers hear “Don’t do X” and become paralysed with uncertainty because they now know for sure what they shouldn’t do, but can’t figure out what you *do* want them to do.

User Interfaces

General

* User interfaces are design, not requirements.
* Usable interfaces should not be innovative. If it’s clever or tricky,then it’s probably confusing.
* Users don’t use the right mouse button instinctively.
* It’s hard to know when to double-click unless someone shows you.
* Icons are hard. They don’t have to be intuitive, but they should be pretty and make sense once you know what they represent.
* Love the one you’re with. Try not to fight the operating system you’re on.

Trees

* Users don’t use tree views. Users don’t get trees.
* Users only (very) rarely see trees on computers.
* Developers love trees.
* IDEs have trees.
* Windows file explorer shows a tree.
* Most users never see or use tree-views when they’re using Windows (or Macs) and don’t find them comfortable.
* Windows explorer is hidden in the Start-> menu (it’s an “Accessory”) and where the “My Computer” icon is (on the Desktop) and what happens when you double-click it
* You have to go deep into most applications if you want to see a tree view.
* The standard Windows application file (save/open) dialog does not show a tree.
* A tree is not an easy metaphor. When was the last time you saw a tree of manilla folders? (There’s an art project in this somewhere)

Miscellaneous

* It’s hard to write requirements unless you’re ears are being pounded by “doof doof” music
* Unfinished Sympathy is the finest pop song ever written

Actually, it is The West Wing, but not the TV show. The Niger Unranium, Plame, Wilson, Novak, Rove, Libby and GWB story is intriguing. Even better, it’s playing out in nice easy-to-digest episodes inevitably culminating in a kick-ass cliffhanger series ending. This series isn’t finished yet and I’m already salivating at what the scriptwriters might have in store for the next season. There are so many loose ends to be tied up. I hope they don’t end up writing themselves into a corner and resort to claiming this series was just one of Shrub’s bad dreams.

Having followed it for a while, it’s nice to see how many people are coming out of the woodwork to heap praise upon some of the main characters (via War and Piece):

I am sorry I am not a double-super-secret Beltway reporter with double-super-secret access to all the double-super-secret people who know all the double-super-secret secrets. I am sorry about this because it means that I will not be part of the noble work involved in tailoring the shining armor of the First Amendment until it fits the ghost of Donald Segretti. But the biggest reason I am sorry that I am not a double-super-secret Capitol Hill double-super-secret newshound is because I am not capable of seeing all the good in people.

I mention this only because one of the primary arguments being advanced by the people who support Karl Rove, the embattled spawn of Lee Atwater and a tack hammer, is that Rove was only trying to keep some of their number out of trouble. I am informed by some of my double-super-secret colleagues that a “little-known” part of Rove’s official duties is to be a double-super-secret pal to them, offering them double-super-secret guidance to keep them from pursuing stories that might subsequently embarrass them. Considering that my most vivid memory of Rove’s saying anything is the great moment that my friend Ron Suskind recounted when Rove, in an obvious attempt to maintain his secret identity as a double-super-secret nice guy, is overheard yelling that someone is going to get biological functioned like he’s never been biologically functioned before, I found this something of a surprise. But that was before my recent trip to Washington.
[...]

Read on…

Update: And this…

President Bush today reiterated his pledge to immediately fire anyone in his administration found to have leaked the identity of an undercover CIA operative. He did, however, add some stipulations to his firm pronouncement.

In order for the firing to take place, Bush said it would need to be shown that an actual crime had taken place and that the act had been perpetrated while the leaker was hopping on one foot, simultaneously patting his head and rubbing his belly, and while he (or she) was listening to an iPod (specifically the special 20 gb U2 version and not the less expensive Mini or Shuffle models). The President went on to stipulate that the illegal act must have been committed on either a Monday or a Wednesday, unless the day in question fell during a week containing a national holiday, in which case the applicable days would switch to Tuesday or Thursday.

A Letter to the Terrorists, From London

Via

I was walking along Victoria Road in Gladesville last night when I noticed, just as I’d passed it, that an Indian restaurant had been sprayed with graffitti.

I didn’t catch what it said as I had already walked past when I noticed it. My heart sank when I realised it was probably racially-motivated. “Damn you, Australia” I thought.

I had to go buy some bread and I was returning past the restaurant, so I planned to offend myself by reading the message on my way back.

Seething with indignation I walked back to my car. I swung wide in front of the graffitti to let myself take in and read the racist evil had been rendered upon this innocent shopfront.

“Damn you, Australia… for always blowing things out of proportion” I thought.

I upgraded to 1.5.1.3. Everything *looks* OK to me. I recognise I’m not the best peer reviewer of my own work so if you see anything unusual tell it to the hand let me know.

A fabulous post at Making Light.

[...]some months ago I actually managed to come up with a poem so bad that the International Library of Poetry, to which I submitted it, neither declared it to be a semifinalist in one of their contests, nor offered to publish it in one of their pricey yet unreadable anthologies.

Accomplishing this feat has been the aim of the people who maintain the Wocky Jivvy website. In their many attempts, they’ve come up with some truly remarkable entries—“My Cat Has Fleas,” “Walking with the Man,” “Dawn of a New Eve,” “Flubblebop,” “Yew Gotta Larf,” etc.—but as far as I know, they’ve never received the rejection they covet.

How did I do it? It was easy, once I hit upon the right approach.[...]

Read on. Some of the commenters’ contributions are awe inspiring.