brainsnorkel.com

I’ve just spent some time in and around Melbourne. On Tuesday night I spent a lovely evening in and around a Japanese Noodle shop at Federation Square. A place that was built to resemble the slowly expanding Combine city in Half Life 2, or vice versa.

Me and my companions were eating fabulous noodles, sashimi and that soy-bean-cooked-in-the-shell-dish-I-can’t-remember-the-name-of, listening to restaurant soundsystem-quality Moby when we noticed a helicopter with “Sheriff” written on the side hover and manoeuvre over the top of South Gate. We noticed it even though it only hung around making those helicopetery sounds for about 2 hours.

We walked over to where the noise was and saw squads of police in american-style uniforms with guns being pointed at what was either a mass hallucination that we weren’t party to, or future CGI renderings. They were running up a footbridge, then staring over the side and then method acting some dejected resignation when whatever the thing is that was on the bridge had flown the coop.

Perhaps it’s a modern remake of “One of our dinosaurs is missing?”

We quizzed some people wearing official-looking yellow vests what it was all about. They said it was actually Ghost Rider with Nicholas Cage.

You heard it here first.

So here’s the spoiler: At some point in this movie there’s a scene where “cops” get to both ends of a footbridge surrounding something. while being escorted by a “sheriff’s” helicopter and then point their guns at something, then run up the bridge — from both sides! They look up, they look down, then walk away.

Sorry to spoil it for you, but a scoop’s a scoop. There may have been half a million Melbournians there, but I think I have an eye for detail they don’t.

I must admit that I have considerably less skill as a celebity columnist than James Wolcott :)